Longest post ever...the case of LocLoops

This post will be a long one. I hope--if you are interested-- you will slog through it. I have spent the past week getting more information for this post. Why? Because I was bothered about LocLoops. So if you read this entire post, I will relay everything I found out. And I will post the reply of Carole Pearson--owner of LocLoops--to my second email to her as well as my last message to her.

I tell you about all the hair and beauty products I try. This was the first time I had something critical to say so I wanted to make sure I had all the information I could get. Honestly, I hoped I would learn something that would change my initial reaction. But I didn't. You can think what you want about all this...I was going to do a price analysis like I did about the expense of SLs...but y'all can add and subtract...sigh...

Some of you know that last Wednesday a new group member posted on LockItUp about the 'new' product their stylist had 'created,' called LocLoops. Being curious, I followed the link. When I got there I was surprised because they looked exactly like a product I bought over two years ago called SoftSpikes. The product looked the same, heck, the style photos looked the same. Then I saw this and my face scrunched because I was accustomed to this.

So I went back to LockItUp and wrote that I thought these products were the same except that these 'new' ones were more expensive. And I asked for clarification...Did you say the person selling LocLoops created them? Doesn't she know there is a product exactly like that called SoftSpikes? And the customer came back to the list and wrote that the stylist said, 1) she had never heard of SoftSpikes and, 2) she created LocLoops herself and developed them for over a year by testing them on her clients. Really?

Well, that was all the customer knew. So it became clear I would have to check this out on my own...

I went back to the site. And I read this. And I grew increasingly annoyed. Why was I annoyed? Well, let's read together. In the first sentence of the first paragraph, we are told that this is a black-owned business...ok. And then we are told this product is a "new" way to style locs. Really?

Onto the next paragraph..."LocLoops are made from a special material specifically designed for the heavier requirements of locs. Using a material that is 'closed cell' to prevent absorption of any liquids or hair products..." Really?

You all know I used to teach black feminist theory, literary and visual analysis? Didn't I tell you that? Anyway...I spent many, many years learning, and then teaching others, to look very closely at all kinds of texts for what is really being conveyed to them through what is specifically denoted and implicitly connoted. Fancy words for what is said and what isn't. And these two paragraphs were something to chew on...

From MY reading, by my interpretation, the most emphasized points on this page are 1) this is a black owned business, 2) this is a NEW product, and 3) it is made of something UNIQUE for locked hair. But there is a problem...it is not a new product and it appears to be made of the very same material as its predecessor. In fact, there are three things different about LocLoops compared to SoftSpikes-- 1) it is a black owned business, 2) it has notches in it that are supposed to lock them closed, and 3) they cost more.

Last week, the website also said that LocLoops was a trademarked product with a patent-pending. It no longer says that. But it has been evasions like this that have bothered me about this whole situation. I'm sure Ms. Pearson is aware that every iteration of a website remains accessible thanks to the marvels of Google. So you can read what the page used to say for yourself here.

I am giving you all these links and encouraging you to look at them yourself. Ms. Pearson suggests --in her message reprinted below-- that I will not be fair to her. I am a lot of things. Unfair is not one of them. So I feel it necessary to give you these links to illustrate the path that brought me to my opinions. And that makes this very long...But I digress...

I said everything I wanted to say about the black-owned marketing strategy on LockItUp. In sum, I think in this case it as an appeal to sell a product. I was disappointed by that. Growing up, I was taught that minorities have always had to achieve a higher standard to compete. I not only internalized that, I embraced it. So when I patronize a black-owned enterprise, I have high expectations that I will have a positive experience based upon the owner's desire to offer a superior product. When I get that, I tell everybody--EVERYBODY--about that business and that product. I patronize them. I do all I can to support their success. But it's a two-way street. If you want my business, I expect that you are offering a superior product and a superior experience. Based on price alone, LocLoops was not offering that. When I heard this story about the owner having no prior knowledge of Soft Spikes, I thought either it wasn't true or that if it were true, the business owner was in way over her head--manufacturing and attempting to patent a product that she then had to retail at a significantly higher price than her competition... not good. I was leaning toward it not being true. But I wanted to be wrong. So I reached out to Ms. Pearson by posting my questions about her product development and writing her through her website. I also wrote to the owner of Soft Spikes because I wanted their perspective about all this and because she had been so responsive to the locked community's interest in her product...

That's when things got more interesting. I was sent the shipping confirmation number and order information that showed Soft Spikes were purchased and delivered to the same address as Ms. Pearson's business on November 12, 2006. Though she told her customer last week, that she never heard of SoftSpikes. Now Ms. Pearson is certainly free to say whatever she likes. But it seemed odd to me that she would go to such lengths to deny knowledge of a competing product and that she would say such a thing to her own customers.

Maybe it was because Ms. Pearson claims to be seeking a patent on her product. Brunsli is far more capable of giving an expert explanation of patents. All I did was a little internet researching. What I quickly found was that in order to patent a product, it had to be original or modified in a way that is not obvious. So which was the basis for Ms. Pearson's patent application? I asked her. And she won't say...So, here's my opinion. If your SoftSpikes slip open--and mine don't--it wouldn't be a leap to cut a notch in them to stop that from happening. Of course, it would also make it more likely your roller would break at the weak point...so I don't know if that's necessarily an improvement either. Oh well, you can still get a patent on a new product, right? Maybe that's why Ms. Pearson emphasizes that her product is new. But she knew about a similar product since at least last year. Hmm. But they are made of a special material, right? Maybe. But it's not a material Ms. Pearson developed. So she can't be patenting that either. In fact, her competitor's product is also made of a 'closed cell' material. Sigh.

Patent applications aren't cheap. I know Brunsli could give more specific information about that too. But I imagine that's the impetus behind the price of LocLoops. Someone has to pay the lawyers. I guess it as well be whoever buys the product.

So how do you sell a product that is twice that of its competition? Marketing...I've addressed everything else and that brings back to the black-owned bit. But I don't think I need to elaborate on that. I think I've described exactly how I got here.

All that's left is to let Ms. Pearson respond. So here you go...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received Thursday, November 14, 2007

Renea Henry,
I was happy to give more information about my product to you, but the
more I read of your note, including the blatant attacks and empty
conclusions, the more I thought otherwise. My heart was warmed that a
customer took it upon themselves to share my product with the
audience at LockItUp. But I have never made claims on my product
outside of my website. Based on your notes, it is clear to me you
have made up your mind about my product, and I do not feel that any
information I provide will be presented fairly on your blog. Your
conclusions are based on assumptions, they are false and your claims
are clearly biased. However, for the sake of closure, I will supply
some information below.
Here are my responses:

1) "Similarity in Design & No prior knowledge of other products"
I made no such claims. You're trying to make this about Loc Loops and
one other product, but this should be about creating rollers that
work. Loc Loops is a product that I created because other products on
the market did not work for my hair. I then shared that creation with
my clients around the country.

2) "High" unit price
This is relative. The price of this product reflects the durability
and lifetime of the product based on other rollers/curlers on the
market.

3) Patent Questions
I am not willing to discuss patents with you. Our lawyers are
handling our position as it relates to the market.

This should bring our discussions to a close.
Regards,
Carole Pearson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carole,

There were no attacks in my message toward you and I was candid about
my response to your product because I was being honest. Based on the
representations of your product on your website, I do not think its
design is original. That isn't an attack. That's my opinion. There is
no bias either. There is a difference between someone giving their
opinion and having a bias or launching an attack.

Your customer reported you told her that you were unaware of the
SoftSpikes product as of last Friday, and that when asked, you said
you came up with the idea for the product 'yourself.' The posting of
your customer was the source of the information, not your website.
When I contacted SoftSpikes, I was provided a copy of the shipping
confirmation you received when you ordered their product last year. So
that is the source of that information. There is nothing baseless or
assumptive about me saying that you had prior knowledge of the
product. Your own customer reported that information to LockItUp and
subsequently, I saw your shipping confirmation which clearly lists the
address of your business and the date of your purchase.

As far as denying there is a similarity between your product and the
other, that strains credibility. After the posting with your website,
every person who went to your site reported on the similarity. If you
are saying that you can't see it, you are alone in that assessment.
Since in your response you acknowledge that you are aware there are
similar products on the market and the photographs of your product
reveal no difference in composition, you should see how I would
reasonably seek out an explanation. I asked you what it is about your
product that is unique for locked hair--as you describe on your site.
If you had responded to that question, I would have printed exactly
what you said. That would have been the only source of a description
available to me. As I said, I think your product is priced too high
and I'm not going to buy it. That is a statement, not an attack. I
also asked if anyone could provide me a first-hand comparison of the
two materials. It was not directed at your product maliciously. I buy
all kinds of hair and beauty products. Many have similar
functions...but in every case I have patronized these businesses and
bought these products because I felt good about the exchange and I
cannot say that here.

Which leaves your patent...It only took me thirty seconds to find out
that patents are based upon the claim of an originally designed
product or process or a non-obvious improvement to a product or
process. I was honestly curious what the basis of your patent could
be. Acquiring patents are very expensive, so I hope you are getting
excellent counsel about the viability of your application. Especially
since in order to offer your product on the market, you have decided
to price it significantly higher than competing and almost identical,
pre-existing products.

My negative reaction has been to the situation of a black-owned
business coming into the market place with such a precarious basis for
existence. Your marketing is misleading and your price is not
competitive. As someone who does support minority-owned businesses and
entrepreneurs frequently, I was very frustrated and disappointed with
your strategy. I would be falling short as a potential customer not to
give you my reaction. That gives you the opportunity to respond to the
market you have targeted. If I went to a restaurant and disliked the
experience or was served poorly, I would let management know. If I was
looking for a product, I would comparison shop and choose the best
value. You may not like what I have to say, but it is honest and
unbiased...and I SINCERELY hope that before you go further with plans
to expand your business, you think about your pricing and marketing.
You could do a lot better. In order for minority-owned businesses to
succeed they have to be MUCH better than their competition, better
with service, better with product, better with price. All that on top
of having a sound business plan and knowledge base.

I was also reacting to the fact that your endeavor is undercutting
another. I don't believe you didn't know about SoftSpikes and I
haven't seen anything to change that reaction. Your representation is
that you are going to all this effort because you have inadvertently
developed the same product someone else's family-owned business has
been selling for eleven years...I guess that's your story and you're
sticking to it. But since you are so isolated, I hope that finding out
all this has been helpful. As a small business owner yourself, I hope
no one ever does to you what you appear to be positioning yourself to
do to someone else. After you have invested time, resources and
capital into developing and manufacturing a product; establishing a
market presence and building a clientele, I hope no one comes along
and tries to set up shop in front of your endeavor and reap the
spoils...That's the view from over here. But I hope, at least, when
CuteCurlers or whatever they might be called is asked, they give you
credit for whatever you contributed to their enterprise.

While you 'fear' you won't be fairly presented on my blog, I assure
you I will deliver exactly what you presented to me. You have record
of our exchanges and access to any of the postings that were made on
LockItUp. If you decide in the future you would like to comment, you
are certainly welcome to do so.

Regards,
Renea

My second unanswered email to Carol Pearson of LocLoops

Last week, after participating in a discussion about a product called LocLoops that generated provocative questions about how black-owned businesses interact with their customers, I decided I would post a commentary about the subject on my blog. I thought it would be valuable and fair to give you, as owner of this business, the opportunity to comment about your product and company, the LockItUp discussion, and my own commentary. Especially since, according to your website, Ms. Pearson is marketing the LocLoops product directly to Sisterlock wearers. To date Ms. Pearson, you have not responded to me, so today I am writing you a second email message which I am reposting here:

Dear Ms. Pearson and Curls and Coils, LLC,
I wrote you a few days ago to let you know I will be posting about your product on my blog Friday. By now, I am sure you are aware that last Wednesday, one of your customers posted information about your product and website on the Yahoo discussion group LockItUp. After following up to see the site and product, I was struck 1) by the similarity in design and function of your product to another that is very widely known in the LockItUp group and amongst the blog community called Soft Spikes, and 2) by the disproportionately high unit price of your product in comparison.

By way of the list discussion, it was conveyed that you have claimed no prior knowledge of the SoftSpikes product and that your product was made of a materially specially designed for 'locked' hair. According to the account given to the group, you have reported that you designed this product sui generis and that you have been testing it on your customers for a year. This intrigued me, to say the least. I contacted the owner of the SoftSpikes company to get her reaction to your product and website and from there the situation has become even more intriguing.

I have seen the proof of shipping information that shows you purchased, and obviously was aware of the SoftSpikes product since at least last year. That company has been selling their product for 11 years. Since your site claims that you have a patent pending for your product, I asked you what type of patent you were seeking and why you were telling your customers that you had never heard of SoftSpikes. Surely, since you were indeed familiar with the SoftSpikes product, you realize that neither the design nor (from the pictures and description you posted on your site) the material of your product are original or significantly improved.

While I usually purchase all of the products I review on my blog, I am not willing to purchase yours because of the price. However, I was interested to find out from you the nature of the special design and composition of your product and what about it that is unique for locked hair. I also inquired about the price difference.

I would really like to give you the opportunity to comment on your product and the chronology of your research and development. So I am writing you again in hopes that you will respond. I would be willing to quote you directly if you respond to my questions as posed. Please respond by tomorrow evening if you want your comments to be included in my posting. As you may be aware the Yahoo discussion group and blogging community is very interested in information about new products useful for Sisterlocks grooming and styling. I also have Sisterlocks and try to find out as much as I can about the products I use and businesses I patronize. I hope you will take the opportunity to share your comments with us all.

Wrap-A-Loc Results...II

Ok...You all wanted a review and a comparison. Friday I had somewhere to go and I didn't think the whole "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" look was what I wanted to go with...So I separated the coils. It is now Sunday and they are still quite nice. I have been wearing a sleep cap at night.

As I said before, I really like the Wrap-A-Loc results. It did take longer than soft spikes. Which makes sense because they are much, much, much smaller. On the website, there are people wearing the tool itself as a style. I would only do this over the weekend, not to work or anything. But that's just me...I slept with them in and they weren't terribly uncomfortable. If you don't like sleeping with anything bothering your head, it might be annoying.

The most obvious difference between soft spike rollers and the wrap-a-loc tool is the size of the curl. As the pictures show...you can get a very good set on either product. It been awhile since I used the soft spikes but if I remember correctly the curls gently fell over the course of a few days. If you separated the coils or as they relaxed, you be left with a very wavy, loose curl.

As the pictures show, the wrap-locs left me with coils about the diameter of a pencil. When I separated them, I was left with distinct spirals. They were so tight I wanted to sing Donna Summer songs for a minute. I tied them back for awhile. Yesterday-Saturday- they were very pretty. That's when I took the pictures above. I remembered my five-head and pulled a few forward.

The option of wearing wrap-a-locs as a style may be appealing to some. You can't go anywhere with a head full of soft spikes.

I was able to teach myself how to properly use the wrap-a-loc tool. Even though I had the wrong size--see earlier post--they were very forgiving and I got an excellent set. The size description on the site helps you choose the right size. Don't be like me and second guess it. The only thing that confused me was the wording...that it would take up half the length of my hair. I interpreted that to mean that the tool should be half the length of my hair. If I would have gone solely with the length suggestion, I would have been less confused.

As I said before, I think using a hair dryer had a LOT to do with my good outcome. I never used a dryer with the soft spikes...I didn't have one...and it took forever to dry. I couldn't guess how long it would have taken my hair to airdry on the wrap-a-locs.

Not for nothing, I have been setting my hair on some kind of rollers since I was 12. And because I'm type A, it always looked like someone else had done it for me. I am an excellent hair setter! I say that not just to brag, but as a disclaimer. Both soft spikes and wrap-a-locs can be time-consuming, but the wrap-a-locs didn't take an unreasonable amount of time to use. It would have gone much quicker if I wasn't forcing my hair onto 'too small' rollers. If I could go back I would have gotten one set of medium--for the front-- and three or four long. The instructions for traditional locks are to use one tool per lock, for Sisterlocks I used about four each but I wasn't obsessive about it...some may have had more.

For hold, with both products, I would use a maximum hold mousse or diluted Lottabody in a spray bottle.

Soft-Spikes v. Wrap-A-Loc

Just for contrast, I've dug up some pics of me with Soft Spikes sets for comparison. You can't say I don't go the extra mile for my Sisterlock family...
These are both dated. One I took in Virginia and the other was last winter...
It is definitely a matter of scale. And we'll see how long the curls go...

Wrap-A-Loc Results...

OK...So Monday morning I took down the Wrap-A-Loc set. Here's the results. They are very tight. After work Monday, I put them in a cap while I was at exercise class. They were just as tightly coiled on Tuesday.

I think the set was successful because I sat under the dryer. I used a little diluted Lottabody. But I was not very consistent about applying it. I probably didn't put any on the back.
If it weren't for the heat of the dryer, my hair wouldn't have dried uniformly...and certainly not in time for me to go to sleep at a decent hour. So once again, I love my new hair dryer.
We can track how long the curls last together, ok?

Today--because I was too lame to actually wear a costume--I stuffed my hair in a knit hat and wore lots of make-up....Spooky. I told anyone who asked I was a smooth criminal.

Really I just wanted an excuse to try blacking my eyes out. I have all these MAC paints that I never use and eyeshadow colors that I never really experiment with...So today I did. I used Fluidline liner in black, Carbon and Tuxedo shadow with a thin dusting of Vellum over the top. It was fun. If I was still in high school, I might totally go Goth for awhile...But I'm not in high school. So really, it's just about time for me to wash my face.

And so I find myself...

Sitting under the dryer with Miracle Whip on my face...yeah, yeah, I'll get to that...

I lollygagged most of the day. Shredding paper, violating my lease by drilling a hole in my ceiling, watching the football game in London...I didn't start coloring my hair until after 5pm. I used the old stand-by...Hi-Res Copper Shock. But it's not shocking. It's pretty tame. At least I don't have two-tone hair anymore. I've been using this color so long, I just feel like it looks normal again.

So I started in with the Wrap-A-Locs pretty late. Like around 7pm and I didn't finish until 10:30. The woman who created Wrap-A-Locs-- Sister Nandi--has the patience of Job. After I ordered 5 large sets and received them, I decided I had the wrong size and sent them back un-opened. She and I talked on the phone a few times. She assured me the large size were right for me. But I'm a mule-headed stress-ball right now, so I asked for two sets of medium size. So I finally open them, start setting my hair and realize...yup, I needed all larges. Sigh. I made due with what I have though. I've been under the dryer for thirty minutes. If I had all large size, I actually do think I would leave these in over a weekend, but I won't be wearing them to work

I love this thing! It's a Hot Tools Model 1059 Salon Style Dryer. It says "Purple People Heater" which is pretty cute. It has an ionic setting, two heat settings and three speeds. I know it's listed on Amazon and there's a seller on E-bay. I paid $99.99 at my neighborhood beauty supply which is actually a very good price. They also had a Conair brand one that was $25 more. I was hoping I could adjust it and recline in bed or at least sit in my cushy chair, but I had to use a kitchen chair. An irrelevant inconvenience. I may never go to a salon again. I can now give myself hot conditioning treatments and drastically reduce my drying time--great motivation to actually set my hair and stop with the constant ponytails. I can't hear the television-darn it!- but I can surf the net, read a book or a magazine...Fab. If I would have gotten it together and done this earlier, I could have watched the football or baseball game...Don't need sound for that. Oh well, incentive to start earlier next time.

So you want to know why I have Miracle Whip on my face. I know you do. Well, I had gotten my skin under control last month. But with all the stress, I've backslid with my regimen. I had been having great luck with aspirin facials. Don't laugh...aspirin is salycylic acid on the cheap. I just dissolve about three in my palm, mix with a little moisturizer and voila! a great blow to oil and would-be pimples. I was on the net and saw quite a few posts about the exfoliating property of Miracle Whip and thought I'd try it. Apparently the tangy kick in the Miracle Whip is what distinguishes this from just sitting around with mayonnaise on my face--that would be weird...lol. The vinegar in the Miracle Whip...along with the egg..helps to moisturize and unclog pores at the same time. I'll let you know what happens...Since I'm all clogged again, I figured it would be a great time to try it out...can't hurt. I've been using a facial from Lush called Cupcake that I really like...but I'm all about cheap. Can't beat a jar of Miracle Whip and some store brand aspirin.

Roots...The Next Generation

I haven't posted in a loooonnng time. Sigh. Life has been a little too much to blog. Lately it's taken all my mental energy just to get from Monday to Friday, then on weekends I just decompress. But life has been busy...

So last Saturday, I went to the beauty supply store. Like most black women I know, I think beauty supply stores are magical places. Even though I don't need many products, I find myself leaving with armloads of things anyway. So last Saturday I had bandannas, crocheted caps and a snood. And then I looked up... Now that the weather is getting cooler, I can't just wash my hair in the shower and go on my way. And now that my hair is longer it takes forever to dry. If I don't wash my hair pretty early in the day, it won't be dry before bedtime. Wet hair and pillowcases don't mix...wet hair and damp rollers makes a funny smell that usually requires a vinegar soak to remove....so what's a girl to do. I have a blow dryer and a diffuser. But I am too lazy to stand around waving it at my head and it's useless if I want to set my hair with rollers. I got one of those soft bonnet style dryers but the blower part fried out. I tried attaching it to the blow dryer but it got way too hot and it was so noisy I couldn't take it. So I started fantasizing about the salon-style dryers I saw in the beauty supply store window. Sigh. I even priced them out on Ebay.

So I'm in the beauty supply store... I look up, see the hair dryers and remember that I want a new one. I left with my bandannas and a firm resolve. So it seemed kismet when I went to the beauty supply store right up the street from me...looked down...and saw two salon style dryers, both around the same prices I saw online. But I had no money so no dice. I've been thinking about it all week and today I went back and got one!

My plan was to retighten, wash and try my new Wrap-A-Locs (yes, I bought those too). But when I looked in the mirror, I realized I had another dilemma... You all know I dabble in the dark art of hair-coloring. But I've been good and haven't touched the stuff for months. The proof is that I have over an inch of uncolored growth. I don't like it. Luckily I'm prepared. I have two boxes of the color I usually apply and one of the brown shade of Feria I tried when I decided I wanted to go a shade darker. I'm wondering though if I should hold off on the color until closer to Thanksgiving so it'll be fresh for the holidays. Decisions, decisions....I didn't have an answer after I finished assembling my new dryer, so all I finished was the retightening. One thing I know, two-tone hair is not my thing. So I am either going to use one of the colors I have or make my whole head something closer to my natural color. Given that my natural color is a depressing shade of dark brown that does absolutely nothing for me, I predict this time tomorrow my hair will be copper again. If it's too much of a jolt, I'll cover it with the brown in a couple of weeks to tone it down...

Zahara, I know exactly how you feel...

Zahara Jolie-Pitt expressing herself...

Things are looking up...

Even though I can't sleep...I feel much better. This has been a crazy week. But it's over. I know thngs are better because I have been trying unsuccessfully to Simpsonize myself for over a week. I figured it's four in the morning, take a chance. It worked! I finally got through. So here I am in all my Simpson glory. I think I look pretty cute!

How to gain back the weight you lost....

When I'm stressed out sometimes I rationalize having a treat. I don't really have a problem with emotional eating as they call it but I can see how things can spiral out of control.

Now that the semester has started, my favorite dining services cafe is open. Yesterday they had a surprisingly spicy paella with huge shrimp, mussels, and even a little squid. And the squid wasn't tough which is usually my complaint about squid not served as fried calamari...Anyway. Last night, I was still feeling funky. I decided what I really wanted was some mashed potatoes. So I got the bag of frozen-don't open unless emergency-mashed potatoes. Instead of buying quarts of milk and letting them spoil--because I am lactose intolerant and only use milk to cook-- I started buying those little milk boxes that don't need refrigeration. So I mixed two boxes of milk with the frozen potatoes. Because I still refuse to cook...but that too is another topic. It was definitely not the best mash I've ever had. I mean it's really lazy not to mash my own potatoes...it's super easy. But like milk, I stopped buying potatoes because I cook them so infrequently they end up growing eyes. I used excellent portion control with the mashed potatoes. I really just wanted a taste...but since there's milk involved, I can't keep it indefinitely.

No...my downfall has been the fact that there is a McDonald's in front of the bus stop. Right in my face when I come home. Last week, I was thinking how empty my refrigerator was and went into Mickey D's. I wasn't observant enough to see the sign that advertised buy one, get one free Quarter Pounders...and ended up buying the new Angus burger (with Swiss and mushrooms). I enjoyed it so much, two days later I went back for another. And today since I waited over 30 minutes for the bus-- I just don't want to ride the train, I decided I deserved another Angus burger. The third one was not as good as the first one. Yesterday, I tossed back a soda and today I had a Snapple. You know over time the calories would really accumulate.

This summer I ate lots of vegetables and ramen. Because it's cheap and because there is hardly any cooking involved. But the fast food is dangerous. There's nothing wrong with a splurge every now and again. But having a huge burger then coming home and sitting on my duff is a really easy way to gain weight. So I'm going to cut it out. Hopefully, my soda craving will also pass.

Today the dining hall was hosting a local Korean restaurant. I had mac and cheese--it always makes me sick after-- and some really spicy beef dish. Yum.

Great meals...But I haven't been eating rice or potatoes all summer. The desire for comfort food in the winter, along with fewer outdoor and physical activity is a perfect storm. But I'm curious to find out if I can keep these pounds off.

OK people. It's past my bedtime. Ambien awaits.

The best laid plans...

I was planning to blog about stripper culture, but then life got very serious for a moment. Thank you for sending good thoughts and messages.

Like I said, I can't be specific on my blog about what happened...But what it boils down to is that I can't tolerate a lot of volatility in my life right now. When I look back though, I wonder why I ever tolerated volatility. Right now, I have a very slim margin of error. As Jay-Z says...I cannot lose. So for maybe the first time in my life, my instinct for self-preservation is extremely sensitive. There is no one and no thing that I am going to let have control over my peace of mind. I handle that in different ways. Sometimes I shut things out, sometimes I push through, and sometimes I run like hell. What I don't do is nothing.

So that's all I can say. Things are cool. It's been a tough seven days, but I got through it. No one and no thing...

Send Positive Energy Please...

I am worried about something that, unfortunately, I can't blog about here. But I would really appreciate it if you all would say a prayer, send me positive energy, whatever you call it. I just need to borrow some strength, some optimism, and some courage.
Matthew 6:27 and 6:34 are foremost in my mind now.
Just join me in hoping that, indeed, there is nothing to worry about at all.
r

The cost of Sisterlocks...

Apparently there is an ongoing discussion about how "expensive" Sisterlocks are. I have been doing my own hair for the past five years and really don't understand how this has even become an issue.

In my opinion, there are Sisterlocks to be had at any price range...some consultants are expensive, some are not. In different parts of the country, consultants are hard to find and in others there are more to choose from...But in every scenario, I don't think Sisterlocks are expensive.

Even if you go with a very high-end price for installation---I've heard $700 tossed around--and factor in the cost of retightenings for six months to a year every six weeks--let's say at $150...even then the cost of Sisterlocks works itself out--in the long run.

If you are willing to pay from $150-200 every six weeks to get braids--that's what I was doing before I got Sisterlocks-- in a year's time you would have gotten your hair redone 8.67 times...let's say 8 times. That's $1,200- $1600 for the braids plus the cost of whatever kind of extensions you use-- from Kanekalon at about $20 more per session to human hair which might add say another $100 per session...

Over that same year if you got Sisterlocks installed January 1st for $700, then got 8 retightenings over the course of a year, that's $1900 for the year. A difference of as much as $500....

But what happens after a year?

If you continue to get braids done at the same interval by year 2, you have spent $2,400 -$3,200 on braiding. But if you had Sisterlocks, you would probably be able to take the re-tightening class...which is now $250. After that, you could do your own maintenance. So year by year 2 with Sisterlocks, your expense is $2,150...you've saved at least $350...

Beyond year two, if you had braids, you would continue to spend the same amount each year while your Sisterlocks would cost you nothing...I occasionally go to a salon for conditioning treatments, but I could do them myself...

And I'm not even going to touch the cost of chemical services over the same time...

The point is...however you choose to wear your hair, if you need a stylist, there will be an expense. Even 'traditional' locticians charge. If cost is an issue for you, and I think it is for just about everyone, do the math. You will probably have Sisterlocks for several years. Consider not just the initial cost, but the real cost of how you choose to style your hair. You may find that Sisterlocks are not as 'expensive' as you think.

I did these calculations using the highest figures I've heard. If you are willing to use a trainee consultant or live where there are more consultants available, you may spend less than my calculations.

Stripper Culture...

Consider this a tease...
Later today...or maybe this weekend...I want to get some things off my chest about the state of popular culture right now.

Frighteningly correct

R	Radical
E	Earthy
N	Naive
E	Explosive
A	Astounding

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Fashion Alert

I bought a pair of these...now I'm afraid to wear them!

It's Britney, Bitches...

Well, I did post about Lauryn Hill...

Britney Spears. Sigh. Last night on the VMA's. Sigh.

I have a real soft spot for this young woman. Maybe it's because she's from Kentwood, LA-- a place that I will forever associate with goodness because of the natural springs there. Mostly though, it's because she seems so utterly lost, defeated and vulnerable and I can't help but feel sympathetic to her. Despite the fact that she is at least the figurehead of a multicorporate brand of music and merchandise...despite the fact that she has toured the world as a performer, Britney Spears is an obviously unsophisticated, untutored young woman who seemingly has never had the opportunity to find an identity outside the entertainment machine that she has been so lucrative to for the last ten years. She has spent what would have been any other young woman's formative years being packaged and distributed. While other young women her age were going to high school and college, Britney Spears was on the road making money, for herself and everybody around her with no vacations, no room for error, and no one who wasn't also on the payroll. In the same way that I see Lauryn Hill's so-called unravelling as a rebellion, so too do I see the undoing of Britney Spears.

Truth be told, she's been coming apart for awhile. Not that it was the cause, but from about the time her relationship with Justin Timberlake ended, she has been on an increasingly determined downward spiral. Not because of the loss of love, but I think because she suffered such a blow to her public image in the wake of the break-up.

Just before it happened, I remember seeing Britney and her mother on the Oprah Winfrey show. Almost exactly like what was engineered around Brandy's pregnancy...but that's another post. Anyhow, Britney and her mother were there promoting her upcoming film Crossroads and fielding questions about her relationship with Timberlake. The press wanted to know whether she was still a virgin--no one's business, in my opinion, and it was alleged that she and Timberlake were secretly living together. Eventually they broke up and her clean, albeit 'not so innocent' corporate image was irreparably shattered. His song "Cry Me A River" kind of solidified this recasting of her public image as false and made her into a villain. She became increasingly more provocative about exploiting her sexuality and misguidedly trying to embrace a bad-girl image.

Seemingly flung out of the protection of her parents, she began making the party circuit. At first her public drunkenness was dismissed as youthful exuberance. But then she 'got married' in Vegas to a childhood friend. She was obviously pressured to annul the marriage within hours which made the coverage even more vicious. From that point on, she seems to have completely turned against her 'handlers.' By the next year, she was married to the second, expectant father-dancer in her entourage (the first was that guy from Stomp the Yard) to even more ridicule and negativity. Predictably enough, the relationship ended in shambles. Now made to look like a laughingstock, Britney was the mother of two and had been off the music charts for quite some time. Hmm, sounds a lot like Lauryn Hill, doesn't it? Unfortunately, she seems to have made all the worse mistakes possible after her divorce-- a traumatic time for many much less a young woman under constant public scrutiny. She fell into the train-wreck of Paris Hilton-Nicole Ritchie-Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Ritchie never was, but Paris, Lindsay and Britney were all photographed panty-less. It seemed to me like some sort of dare between them. And instead of 'just' being drunk, it appeared that Lindsay and Britney were under more serious influences. Britney's divorce remained contentious as she and her former husband fought over money and their children...

And how do we know all this...because other than Princess Diana, I cannot think of anyone who is more viciously stalked by the paparazzi than Britney Spears. Maybe Anna Nicole Smith...but that was for a concentrated period of time. Britney has been stalked like game for the past ten years.

Not that she hasn't aggravated things...going barefoot into public restrooms, making a reality show out of her illicit relationship with a man whose girlfriend was pregnant...again and of course, flashing what should have been covered for all to see on more than one occasion. She shaved her head...I'm convinced to avoid the results of a drug test. She attacked a car with an umbrella. She's ruined dresses at magazine shoots, she's flubbed television appearances...She was even sent to rehab. She's apparently feuding with her mother. She almost dropped one of her babies, she took one out without a car seat. It just never stops. On top of all that, there doesn't seem to be a day of the week that she does not go out to a nightclub. It's wearing me out and I'm not even living her life. I can understand why she looks so worn down.

So last night. I had heard a snippet of the song online. And like that Betty Wright song when I found out she'd be performing it on MTV, my first reaction was "I know you're not going sing that song..." It opens with her whispering "...it's Britney, bitches"...which since Dave Chappelle's Rick James skits seems to be the thing to say. The song is not awful. She sounds bored, the lyrics are trashy.

I actually thought she'd back out...but by 9:45, no cancellation. She was going through with the performance. She came out in a rhinestone studded bra and panty set with fishnets. Her hair was in a more-presentable though still, not great weave. She looked terrified...and seemed high. Her lip-synching was clumsy. There were many wide shots as she half-walked through some sections of the dance. There were no illusions with magician Criss Angel as rumored. While not especially toned, she was not fat as some press coverage has been calling her. Were it not for the fact that she is a seasoned performer, it wasn't that bad. But for Britney Spears, it was not that good at all. The performers in the audience seemed at a loss for how to react. They sat frozen, 50 Cent looked completely perplexed, Chris Brown sweetly sympathetic. Then it was over. Comedian Sarah Silverman came out, and as she had done to Paris Hilton, came out and told a series of cruel, vulgar jokes about Britney. The audience seemed uncomfortable and uncertain how to react. Only when Silverman told a joke about confusing Cee-lo and Kanye West did the tension break. The press coverage has been harsh and heavy-handed. In my opinion, Rihanna can't sing a lick either. The difference? Rihanna came out to a supportive audience...she's the new It girl. Britney was competing against her old image, the disappointment of the public, the weight of all that schadenfreude...Sigh.

My conclusion? Britney Spears looked like she was going through the motions, doing the only thing she has ever known how to do...go out onstage and perform. But my message to her is that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to anymore. And that's how she seemed...like she was miserably doing the only thing she knew how to do even though she no longer had a desire to do it. I hope she realizes that she is free to walk away from it all...forever or even for awhile. I hope she decides to find and take better care of herself. To discover her own mind away from the image and expectations of the entertainment industry. I hope she separates herself from the entourages and hangers-on. I hope she realizes that getting high really doesn't make it better. I hope she makes peace with her family. I hope she finds peace of mind. But it seems unlikely that will happen anytime soon...the album will be in stores November 13th...

Strangely enough...

...for the past two days, my hair has smelled like food. Yesterday it smelled like Lowry's seasoning salt...today I think it smells like chicken-flavored ramen noodles. I know...it sounds crazy. But it woke me up. I did go to Amy Ruth's last night. I had catfish and cherry kool-aid. Yes, indeed! For some reason those two items aren't on the online menu..they were right in front of me last night! The menu says "Kool-Aid of the Day" but for all the years I have gone there, every time I've been-- it's been cherry. Which is fine by me...I like cherry kool-aid...or as we used to call it...red. But that was a treat, I can't go off eating fried catfish, fried okra, buttered corn and cornbread... wash all down with a big glass of kool-aid and expect to keep off the 11lbs. I lost. But a treat is a treat, so I really enjoyed it. As soon as I wake up, I'm going to wash my hair really good and rinse it until it doesn't smell like soul food anymore...not because I don't like it--I'm sure other people like it too-- no, I going to get this smell out so I can get some sleep already.
As it is I can't stop thinking about going back for some smothered chicken and waffles...but for giggles, I think I'll go here to get them. Wow...who is the genius that put smothered chicken and waffles together? That is like heaven on a plate. You see...this is why it's not good to have hair that smells like food, it pervades your thoughts and keeps you awake all hours of the night...
whoo...I crack myself up...

We are lymon people...

I cracked my friend up one day with my observation that African Americans must be particularly fond of the mythical lymon fruit. Then today I saw this, I feel vindicated. I just think there are an inordinate number of lemon-limey, clear, fizzy drinks marketed to black people. There is 7-up (of course), Sprite, Sierra Mist, and Mountain Dew...I almost forgot about Slice... and according to wikipedia, there are several others. When I was little I remember people used to put gumballs in their bottles of 7-up. I thought that was plenty gross...but I don't like gum, so what do I know. Of course, it's not only black people who love the lymon, but I don't know what they like. Why, for example, are we not enjoying Fresca--an oddly grapefruit-flavored concoction?
You know, it might be residual loyalty to the 7-up man campaign of the 70s...you remember the Un-Cola Man....ahahaha! That Geoffrey Holder!...he does the same little laugh in Boomerang...cracks me up...
I just needed a little silliness...

Take that!

I am so proud of myself! I just signed up for automatic banking--I know, welcome to the 21st century--and discovered that some company was making regular 'membership fee' withdrawals from my checking account. What?! So I called them up and got my money back.
This company was pretty slick. They signed me up for their 'services' when I bought a movie ticket online. Pretty sneaky...They gave me a 'free' 30-day membership then started kicking in with the charges. No matter that I never wanted their services in the first place. They had been siphoning off $20 a month. Just small enough that I hadn't caught it on my paper statement. But their number was up today, because when I logged into my account statement they were at the top of a queue of 'pending transactions.' Well, I ain't having that.
Watch out for these hidden agreements...

Marjorie Newlin...

I'm probably running late because I hadn't heard of this woman before today. Marjorie Newlin is an 86-year-old bodybuilder. That's right...I typed 86.
Now I as I type, I am reclined waiting for Larry King to come on (lazy, lazy, lazy)...I haven't lifted weights since 2002. I don't know why I stopped. I really enjoyed it. I'm very competitive with myself and I enjoyed pushing myself. Plus you get to see the tangible results of your efforts. Some women are afraid lifting weights will make them look masculine. I don't get that. You would have to train like a professional athlete to get those kinds of results. Plus the benefits of weightlifting--not just improvement of physique, but also maintenance of bone density, acceleration of metabolism, etc.--far outweigh any concerns one might have.
But back to Marjorie Newlin. She started training at age 72 and has won a slew of awards--often competing against women forty years her junior. Apparently, my Tivo was broken when she appeared on the Oprah show and the mail carrier swiped the copy of Essence she was featured in...cause I missed both....
I figured Marjorie was a good example and good inspiration...Age well. I need to move that coffee table and get those yoga and pilates dvds out. Get moving ladies!

The first day of school...

Tomorrow is the first day of the fall semester at UrbanIvy. I have to say I don't miss it. But it has been exciting to see the energy build up. I suspect that since I left work last Friday night a whole lot of activity has taken place. There were a couple of first-year events last week. But they are all still moving around in a pack. All the other students will have descended by tomorrow.
I have no idea what to expect. I started at the end of the Spring semester, so I really haven't the slightest clue of the amount of traffic in the office or the kinds of things that will come my way on a daily basis. I'm kind of rolling with the punches.
I haven't made much of it, but over the summer I lost about eleven pounds. I hardly ever drive. I eat breakfast and lunch rather than dinner. I've diminished my portions. And because of the heat, my diet choices tend toward the healthy by default. I'm not eating rice, bread, pasta, or a lot of sugar. I don't recommend the two meals a day thing. It's just been too hot to turn on the stove when I get home after work. I am a big fan of frozen vegetables. I put a portion in the microwave and voila...dinner. Since I drove out to Long Island for a party, I figured I'd make a proper grocery run. There's a Stop & Shop in the Bronx. Sigh. One of the few things I enjoyed when I lived in Providence was making groceries at Stop & Shop. Anyway, I got some seafood for the freezer. I put away portions of salmon and tuna. Tonight I'm going to grill some scallops.
I thought I wanted to lose 20 lbs. But I'll be satisfied right here.
Unfortunately, all my clothes are now too big. I know...cry me a river. Me and my fake problems... Yesterday I went to Loehmann's--there's one right next to Stop & Shop--but it was just too overwhelming. I think I'm going to find an Express and get some pants. I'd like to go to Century 21...maybe this weekend.
After so many years of school, this feels like the beginning of the year. So bring it on...

I did it...

I cut the sorriest fringe of a bang....pictures coming. What I really want is the kind of action Aisha Tyler has going, but I haven't worked up enough nerve to cut that far back.
I haven't met any stylists familiar with cutting Sisterlocks...perhaps it's time I found one...

Second Anniversary

Well, I got through it...I completely immersed myself in work and even stayed late to try and make things go faster. I toyed with the idea of staying home, but when I woke up this morning I really wanted to get to work and stay busy. I have been determined to learn how to update our website-- I took a Dreamweaver workshop but never followed up. So today, I spent most of the day inputting new information for our website, reorganizing pages, and generally boosting my confidence. I know that I can learn these things, but on an irrational level I sometimes freeze a little contemplating projects that I'm not comfortable with or have lots of experience.

I was just not up to seeing Bush have his photo opps around New Orleans and Bay St. Louis. Ironically enough, my family is from both New Orleans and Bay St. Louis. I haven't been back to Bay St. Louis yet.

Tomorrow I have a big campus event. I hope it goes smoothly. I have no idea what to expect. Once that's over, I'll be able to exhale a little. But the campus is buzzing...students are coming back to campus and soon the pace will be brisker and there will be more calls and fires to put out.

Look who's got a new do...

Helga commented about the dust-up when Brad Pitt--trying to give Carol's Daughter a thumbs-up-- rubbed some people the wrong way because he said he didn't know what to do with his daughter Zaharah's hair. I thought people took it the wrong way. Just yesterday I was talking with a black woman who said she was glad she had a son because she 'couldn't deal' with doing hair.

Anyway...guess the Hair Milk is working...Z's got a cute new do...Check it out!

**I don't know why the photo didn't make it the first time. The post doesn't make any sense without it!**

The Sublime and The Ridiculous--A Sisterlock Story

So I was whining about my hair earlier this week. Aggravated with myself because I can't bring myself to hack in and cut myself some bangs. Despite the fact that it would look better, despite the fact that it's good to shake it up every so often, despite the fact that I really don't want to fall into any kind of rut about how I look. And Sunsail asked for some pictures...So even though I go off on tangents, I figured I'd circle back around and come back to my hair for a minute.

I know there are some of you checking out blogs to get an idea of how Sisterlocks will turn out over time. So let me clarify, I love my hair. I am completely tongue-in-cheek about complaining it's 'too long.' It really isn't much of a problem at all. I want to take full advantage of the possibilities for styling my hair though.

To bring you up to date, I've had Sisterlocks since Spring 2002 and I've been maintaining them myself since Winter 2002. Except for one visit to a SL consultant last year when I was in Virginia, I have done every single retightening since I took the class. I have colored my hair...several times. Ahem. I do not recommend it, but if you want to do it...wait until your SLs are completely settled in, be prepared for some breakage, and do not attempt anything crazy...like going more than one or two shades darker or lighter than your natural color. Pick a color and stick with it. Black over blonde or red makes green, remember that. But I'm talking about styles now...

The consequence of my hair having reached this length is, on the one hand, roller sets don't last because my curls fall by their own weight. But on the other, it means I can make all kinds of interesting styles by arranging my own hair. So...

In a couple of these pictures you can see me making like Cousin It...somewhat for comedy, I admit. My point is that there's lots of room to jazz things up and let SLs fit your personality.

In the others, you can see the fruits of my creativity. I'm convinced I made up this hairstyle, so when you copy it give me respect...lol. It should be possible with medium to long SLs. I did it without pins but a few hairpins would do the trick. And it was very easy. I did it in about five minutes while I was watching the Today show. It is basically a cluster of bantu knots. After gathering my hair in a ponytail with a loose band, I took small sections of hair, twisted them like a candy cane and then wrapped the twist into little buns right next to each other. And they lasted all day without pins...cause my hair is too long (smile). I am starting to think updos are easier for the office. Wearing it down and uncurled, especially in a ponytail seems a little casual to me. And I'm trying to polish up after all.

Sorry about the glare, the only way I could take the pics is in the bathroom mirror over my own shoulder...And I still cannot figure out how to get the pictures to go where I want them...

My Celebrity Look-Alikes...

http://www.myheritage.com

Since Linford Christie didn't come up this time--lol--I posted my Celebrity Look-Alikes...

I don't look like ne'er one of these chicks!

...it's coming up soon.

When I got home, HBO was replaying "When the Levees Broke..." and I watched it.

It's the craziest thing that triggers the sadness. Looking too long at a photo, realizing that something I'm trying to find isn't around anymore, wanting some stewed okra but realizing there is nowhere to buy decent fresh shrimp...

These past two days, my body has been letting me know the anniversary is coming. My throat closes, my hands are all shaky, and the stuttering is back. I hate that. Because I can't disguise it. And I have no intention of explaining it to everybody. I dread answering the phone at work. But I'm glad too. I'm doing pretty good considering. Like Frankie Beverly says...

"Joy and pain is like sunshine and rain...
Over and over you can be sure
there will be sorrow but you can endure
Where there's a flower, there's the sun and the rain...
Oh and it's wonderful...They're both one in the same"

I guess I figured I would get over or past everything, but I think you just learn to live with it. As far away as I have moved, there has not been a day...720 come next Wednesday...that I do not hear the word Katrina. I know most people don't hear it at all anymore. But I hear it everyday. And that's OK...

For the next week, my posts might be kind of scattered...but I'm alright. Just have to talk about it sometimes.

You da man!

Brad Pitt has been using his celebrity to redirect attention to the unacceptable pace of recovery in New Orleans. He's also bought a house in the French Quarter and invested his money in an effort to develop a significant amount of green housing in the Ninth Ward.

Brad Pitt, I think I love you.

This country has been slammed with a whole bunch of 'stuff' (she says euphemistically) and I think, as a result, as a nation we've collectively checked out and vegged on celebrity twits who drive drunk, wear no panties, and bring the collective IQ down about ten points. I enjoy a little foolishness and gossip as much as the next person. But enough. If you are famous, use it for something worthwhile. You have everyone's attention? Well, say something!

While the media would rather focus on all things Brangelina, Brad Pitt has flipped the script and unwittingly tricked them into having to cover one of the most important, ONGOING social problems in our country right now. The slow, almost indifferent pace of recovery from Hurricane Katrina. It's sad commentary, but if not for Brad Pitt and a handful of other celebrities (I see you Don Cheadle and George Clooney!) the word DARFUR might never get mentioned in some media outlets or be on the radar screens of many of my disconnected, uninformed brethren.

Since they following him around anyway, Brad Pitt figures out a way to use the cameras for something important! He's forcing real news to resume their job descriptions and cover pertinent issues instead of pandering for the entertainment audience. And he's trapped entertainment programs into using clips of him saying things like 'social responsibility,' 'government accountability,' and 'social justice.' It's like someone turned on light and opened a window! Obviously, he is not just a pretty face. Brad got game!

So from this Ninth Ward Girl, thank you Brad Pitt. Next Mardi Gras we gon' Second Line just for you!

Five Words I never thought I'd say...

My hair is too long!

This has been coming on for a while. At first it was little things...my curls drooped. Then it got more serious... my locks all tangled in the neck of my shirt. Then it was code red...ponytails everyday.

I don't want to do anything drastic. But I think, given my face shape, I'm going to have to do some cutting. I really need some bangs. Really. Nothing severe. But I need a shorter layer to soften this fivehead I've got going. Not even a real bang...a one-row fringe just below my nose so that I could swoop it over to the side.

Here's the problem. Every time I go to the mirror with the scissors, I chicken out. This has happened three times this month already. Whenever I go to snip, I hear all these voices saying "How can you cut all that hair off!" The 'trim' would take four or five inches off. But it's just one row. Why am I being such a chicken? It's six or seven locks. Cause I'm too chicken to go more than one row.

I'm going to end up on the Maury show...you know how they bring those sorry women out who haven't cut their hair since Ford was in office. Their hair trails sorrily behind them. They have on those elastic waist pants and knit tops. Sigh.

Help me. Tell me to stop being a wimp and cut the six locks. It's just hair. It will look better. And if it doesn't, it's just one row and I can hide the dirty deed.

Lauryn Hill

I didn't forget about this post...I can't believe it's been two weeks since the concert!

So I saw Lauryn Hill perform free in Wingate Park. And I left with a swirl of thoughts. The next day I saw photos and reviews of the concert all over the internet and it made me want to write about how I felt about the concert, the way Lauryn Hill has been treated in the media, and Lauryn Hill herself.

I stayed for only one hour of her performance. She didn't take the stage until 9:44PM and I had to get back home to bed. I have a job. Plenty of people left. This is not uncommon at that time for the Wingate Park concerts or for me. I once left Wingate Park before Cameo hit the stage because I had to go to work the next day. And I LOVE Cameo. But it is true that a lot of people left in disgust and disappointment with Lauryn Hill. With only one opening performer--a young man with one popular song-- many people expected Lauryn to take the stage a LOT earlier than she did. But the crowd was just as prepared to hear she was a no-show. I know I was. Reading all these stories about Lauryn's unusual behavior and performances, I figured anything might happen. I had a book and a magazine. Instead of taking to the field inside the Wingate track, I sat on the bleachers and settled in for the evening. People were getting tired of waiting for her and there was a buzz in the crowd. Eventually, as I said, she took the stage at nearly 10PM.

Her band played an extra long intro, leaving many wondering what they were in for with this show. But she did come out. You could hear the whole crowd kind of pause. She was wearing a leather vest, a high-necked, long-sleeved blouse, and wide leg trousers. Her hair was an auburn-topped afro. When she started singing, it was a mixture of scratchiness and the deep, velvet tone that I remember. But her delivery was staccato and the arrangements furious, fast, and barely recognizable. She attacked the songs and rapped like she had somewhere else to go--hard, angry and so fast, so fast. Even when she sang familiar songs, the arrangements were so unfamiliar that the crowd couldn't recognize much less join in with her as they had been waiting to do.

Like I said, people leave the Wingate Park concerts early all the time. But many of the people who left were aggravated, confused and disappointed. I noticed that all the people who remained on the bleachers were women about my age. Their heads tilted, their mouths set in perplexed faces. You could almost see their thoughts...What is this?

I'm sure you've heard some of the stories about Lauryn Hill's personal life as she skyrocketed to critical acclaim and popular success with the Fugees and as a solo artist. I'm not going to rehash them. Suffice it to say, many people have been concerned about Lauryn Hill. Her most recent tour dates have allegedly been difficult. Depending on who you ask she has sung poorly, acted bizarrely, and dressed outlandishly...Everything about Lauryn has been picked apart and the consensus has not been positive. If you believe what you hear and read, Lauryn Hill has become an aloof, tempermental, disconnected woman. People brought all that to Wingate Park. In many ways, it distorted what they saw. Many people expected that Lauryn Hill would be terrible and that's the show they came to see and felt they got. Others came hoping that she would prove the rumors wrong. But the truth is somewhere in the middle.

I don't know Lauryn Hill. And I certainly don't know for sure that some of the stories about her are true. But I saw on that stage a woman who was disconnected. Her band seemed tense and obviously under her complete control. I couldn't help but wonder if a more experienced set of musicians might have resisted some of the arrangements she chose or encouraged her to edit or question aspects of her performance. As it was, the show came off, in my view, like her own private jam session. Unedited, uncritiqued, unchecked. If the stories are true, then Lauryn may not feel as if she can trust her peer musicians or be willing to share the creative process of her work with anyone. And that is too bad because every creative person needs not only an audience, but also a community. Art cannot be made in isolation. And you cannot perform in front of an audience, yet not invite them in to share. Whatever the reason for the unusual arrangements, the audience was so alienated and frustrated that they could not connect. And they desperately wanted to...The women in the bleachers came looking to see their Lauryn, the one whose voice narrated their love, their life. They wanted if she was hurt to help heal her with their love and support. But the Lauryn we saw, didn't want or couldn't accept the love. She was surrounded by protective armor and ready for battle. She didn't even realize that she was the one picking the fight. There were moments though when you could hear the power of her voice and glancingly touch her song.

A lot is made of Lauryn Hill's appearance. When her album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was released nine (!) years ago, she was on fire. Her skin glowed, her makeup was fierce. She was undeniably that chick. She was so hot that she rocked locks on the cover of Harper's Bazaar. She mixed couture and street effortlessly...in printed interviews, she has said that she grew weary, anxious and uncomfortable about being on display.

So I find myself ambivalent about what she is doing now. On the one hand, her choice of stage wardrobe was odd--it was August and she was wearing a leather vest and long trousers-- and her makeup in photos seemed garish, almost grotesque. But is this because she's unhinged or because she is trying to make a statement about how she was commodified before? I wondered if her attire was an attempt to be defiantly modest. Only her face and hands were not covered. And her make-up, was it deliberately over the top? Or was it simply exaggerated stage application taken out of context by close-up photographers. From our spots in the bleachers, we would have never guessed that her makeup was as it was. Even on the jumbo screens, she seemed at worse a bit heavy-handed. But those photographs. I questioned whether some of them weren't enhanced to make her look clownish and weird. And when I read the reviews of the concert I had attended, I couldn't help but put myself in her shoes. What it must be like to have so many people ready to throw dirt and negativity at you. To call you crazy. To say you are terrible. I would find it surreal, it might even infuriate me. Maybe make me defensive and indignant. So while I didn't agree with her aesthetic choices, I certainly could understand how, even why she might have made them. If I had my creative integrity challenged and undermined, I might be resistant to collaboration and assert my right as a diva...be the HBIC.

I think so many women my age stayed, perplexed with Lauryn because, even though they were pissed off with Lauryn, deep down they understood how she got to that point. I think they also realized how easy it is to slip over the edge. If Lauryn Hill, with all the fame and fortune in the world could be laid low by love and life, can't we all so easily fly apart?

I hear Anita Baker gave a similarly perplexing performance the next week. When I was growing up, I remember my parents talking about Chaka Khan's volatility. And it wasn't too long ago that Mary J. Blige was the one we all worried about and spoke about in hushed tones. Billie Holiday. Every black woman has an artist of her generation who seems to embody their hurt, their struggle. I guess now it's Lauryn's turn. As aggravated, as alienated as we may be with her now, I also know we are also waiting for her renewal and return. We'll be there, ready with open arms.

A little bit of home

This made me homesick...

Chocolate Rain lil' john remix

Just for laughs...

Just silly...

So I have time to squeeze in a bit about Diddy...

I have watched some or all of the Making the Band series on MTV. Yeah, I said it. I've bumped into a little pocket of people who are very snobby about their cultural pasttimes. I'm over it. I try to enjoy and learn from everything. Even reality shows.

So if you've missed it, every season Sean Combs, that's Diddy to you(!), promises some group of young hopefuls that he's going to make them the next big thing. That proposition in and of itself is foolish because by now every black artist should have figured out that the fastest route to one-hit-wonderdom or even undeserved obscurity is to be on the Bad Boy roster (Cheri Dennis, Carl Thomas, 112, New Edition, Faith Evans, Craig Mack, Black Rob, and the contestants of the previous three installments of MTB--especially MTB2...should be deposed on how Diddy systematically squandered the heat from their careers). When was the last time someone even said Total. Sigh. Anyhow, every season a group of wide-eyed young performers try their best to get Diddy's attention.

One season he actually did not 'make a band'--those girls were hilarious! Two or three of them got held over to another season--then cut. That eventually spawned the goofiness that is Dannity Kane. Unless you are like 15, you probably have never even heard of Dannity Kane. Yawn. I've just told you all you need to know. The most infamous season of Making the Band...lol...Diddy put together a sorry, obviously doomed hodge-podge of a thing called "The Band." The fact that he didn't even bother naming their group should have alerted these poor kids they...in the words of Craig Mack...wouldn't be around next year. This was the season Diddy infamously sent the hopefuls to walk all over the boroughs of New York and finally to Junior's in Brooklyn to bring him cheesecake...back in his Manhattan office. Other hilarity ensued, but I'm writing about MTB4...

This season Diddy is (allegedly) putting together a boy band. Dannity Kane moved a few units (though someone should tell those girls it's over) so Diddy figured he'd do the same thing in pants. The whole show would have probably slipped under the radar and probably in the rest of the country it is...but since it's located in NYC, during the production word slipped out that Diddy and his choreographer had got into it on the show and that he had thrown a chair at her during production! What?! So that has been the buzz about this season...rather than the band itself, hmm...what actually happened between Diddy and his choreographer Laurie Ann Gibson? Is she really suing him? So leading up to the episode that included this altercation people pretty much thought Diddy was the villain. And he very well may be...Laurie Ann Gibson went on the Wendy Williams radio show right before the show and dished a lot of dirt with Miss Wendy--of the "how you doin'?" variety. If you know Wendy, you know what I'm talking about...It seemed to be worth a watch.

So I got pulled in...I find MTB amusing anyway. I don't go out of my way, but so far just about every season, I've stumbled in and caught the episodes. One night I found this season and remembered the dust-up to come and started watching. Besides Diddy...this season has Michael Bivins from New Edition (Diddy rescued them from their MCA contract) and Laurie Ann Gibson. What can be said about Laurie Ann? She takes herself very seriously. And while she works, she has this habit of counting time by saying "boom kack, boom kack kack..." Eventually I started calling her Boom Kat and I see others have too. To the point that the chick now wears a satin jacket (!) that says BoomKat in crystals. Hilarious. Anyway...She' been the choreographer since the Dannity Kane cycle and pretty much in the background. But with the chair-throwing buzz, all of a sudden, Boom Kat is front and center. Hmm. I ended up hearing her interview with Wendy Williams on the internet. I was ready to see what went down with this chair throwing.

The episode finally comes on --don't worry it will be repeated many times. Like I said Miss BoomKat is taking herself extra serious. She tells the boys that their test for the week is to show how much of the dance routine they can learn in one day....ooookkkkkayyy! These guys do the best they can. Diddy saunters in, sits down with a toothpick in his mouth and dares these fools to impress him. Somebody's getting eliminated! But something is wrong...all these guys are terrible. Diddy finally asks how long did you guys practice and Laurie Ann very (sheepishly) slips in..."just today, their test was to show how quickly they could learn the routine and..." Well, all of a sudden Mr. Diddy is on his feet and furious. It's on and popping. And eventually he, BoomKat and Michael end up in a room off camera. A huge clatter. Then Laurie is gone! Wow.

Now if you hadn't heard Boom Kat on the Wendy Williams show, you probably thought Diddy was 100% in the wrong. It certainly seems like he's being a real jerk. And if he threw a chair? Well that's a wrap. But if you heard BoomKat's interview, you learned a few things that aren't very obvious, but are quite crucial to seeing this incident in context. One Miss BoomKat is trying to get a reality show of her own. Nothing wrong with that. Got to plan for the future...But she fails to mention she was trying to get her reality show during the taping of MTB4. You don't figure that out until you see the episode and connect the dots. Oh...and even though she's my age!...Miss BoomKat thinks she's about to become the next pop princess. What!? Hilarious.
So armed with that information, you notice how shady Laurie Ann sounds when she says..."uh this is the challenge, you're going to have one day..." And when Laurie Ann, Diddy and Michael are sitting together waiting for the guys to start dancing, you realize that Laurie Ann is being quite obnoxious. Diddy puts 2 and 2 together and realizes that instead of working with the guys all weekend, Laurie Ann has only with them one day because of her schedule. Diddy asks why have you only been here one day. BoomKat weakly and evasively keeps saying "that was the challenge" but off camera a producer tattles that she was only available one day because...wait for it.....apparently Miss Laurie Ann was busy taking meetings about her own reality show!

Then it all starts making sense. Laurie stunting on Diddy, daring him to replace her, appearing on Wendy all in her face....This chick thinks she's about to blow up! Priceless. She made this 'one day challenge thing' up and had Diddy not asked WHY the guys were so bad, she wouldn't have said a word. So when Diddy goes ballistic..."I ain't taking no objections, baby girl, I ain't taking no objections!" I actually agreed with him-- I'm actually trying to find an occasion to say that myself..."I ain't takin' no objections"--heehee. The way Laurie Ann handled the whole situation was wrong and underhanded. While she may want her own fame and fortune, for now, she is a bit player on Diddy's show and her behavior was COMPLETELY out of pocket. Now the whole chair throwing thing happens off camera...so I have no idea what really went down. He might have thrown it AT her or he might have just knocked a chair over. He seems pretty confident Miss Laurie's lawsuit ain't worth filing. But when you put all that BoomKat lays out together... she actually ended up persuading me to take Diddy's side. I can't believe it. Any chick in her mid-thirties or better that thinks she's the next big thing in a teenager's game is clearly delusional and unreliable as a source for information! And she obviously has poor judgment. Girlfriend played right into Wendy's "how you doing" game and implicated Diddy, Michael Bivins and Andre Harrell. These are not the things you do when you are trying to be a senior citizen pop star. Sigh. And the first rule is to get a new job before you jeopardize your current one.

Just silly...

It's Up to You, Part Two...

I had no intention of keeping you all in suspense. This week I've just been swamped at work. So I will be following up on all four topics. But my Lauryn Hill post will have to wait because it's going to take a minute....

So...facebook. Even though I felt really ancient doing it, I started a MySpace page... I think that was last year. Yawn. It's ok. But then one of my much younger friends sent me an invitation to join facebook a few months ago. I love it! It could just be the novelty of it all, but I like the environment at facebook much better. It's like they've taken the best elements of all the other social networking sites and combined them into something that really works like a community.

1) Invitations-- I really like that you have to have a real connection to another person to add them to your network. LinkedIn, the professional networking site works this way also. I got invited to join LinkedIn when it was still in beta... also Doostang--but I don't even know if they're still around. Friendster is just boring...but it's very easy on that site and especially on MySpace to get flooded with 'fake' friends. MySpace is really like a free-for-all. There's porn and blatant shilling...you've got to wade through a lot of muck to enjoy it.

2) Groups-- The ones I relied upon most are my (many!) alma maters, but you can also extend tour network by geography. I managed to find someone I went to elementary school with (!) and someone from my high school graduating class found me. Cool. I also joined a whole lot of the interest groups.

3) Applications-- OK. I am a dork. Somebody 'bit' me and made me a zombie...after that I was hooked. I became a vampire and a werewolf. If you're not on facebook, you're probably wondering what I'm talking about...there are all these silly applications like the Vampires and 'buying' rounds of drinks or gifts for your friends that are just fun ways to pass the time... The best application so far is Virtual Bookshelf. You can add titles you want to read, have already read and are currently reading. Plus you can share your bookshelf with others. There are similar applications for movies and music. Very cool. It's really interesting to see what is popular right now....

Which is a good segue to the next topic...A book a day. At the beginning of the summer, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands and decided I wanted to get back to reading. I've been burned out on reading for a long time--I associated it with graduate school All the joy was sucked out of it...but I won't go there. Anyhow, since I am doing all this rediscovering, I decided reading should be right up there.

Having started the new job, I decided what I really needed was to escape. I've read enough Literature to last me awhile so I thought it would be fun to read some contemporary authors I missed out on because I didn't have the time and they didn't fit canonical standard. And I just wanted to read some trashy books...and many were, but with some I've been pleasantly surprised. I still have the residue of my academic past so I quickly decided that I would read as many titles any particular author had written.

I started with Zane. I told you I wanted trashy (lol). Wow. That stuff was...what's the word...graphic. I am very intrigued that after so many generations of trying to combat stereotypes of black hypersexuality Zane has embraced a very defiant sexual tone. While she calls her work erotic, I can't really agree. I've read some authors who fall more comfortably in the category of erotic. I found Zane to be really just interested in depicting sex in the most graphic terms possible. Her story structure suffered as a result. I read 5 of her books, all full of steamy sexual encounters. But her plots always reached a point of incredulity. Her endings were often just ridiculous. But I'm glad I finally found out what the fuss was about.

Staying on that theme, the next writer on my list was E. Lynn Harris. His books started on the market when I was in grad school, so I missed them. I just didn't have time to read 'popular' books. I was really impressed with his writing and though a bit gimmicky, I liked the continuity of characters across books. Gay and lesbian writing was one of my 'sub-fields' in African American literature. I was very touched by the realization that while gay and lesbian writers of previous generations-- especially during the Harlem Renaissance--were compelled to cloak their thematic interests and personal orientations...and that even open writers like Baldwin were often marginalized for their honesty, E. Lynn Harris has been able to attract a wide popular audiences and write some pretty good novels about gay characters. On the down side, I find a lot of the conversations that followed his works pretty tired. I'm sorry y'all..I think the whole Down Low thing is just ridiculous, black men and women have been gay and lesbian since forever-- I can't process homophobia. This is not some new ''plague" in our midst...But that's fodder for another post. Let me get off that soapbox.

After that, I've just been bouncing around. I read three books by Benilde Little, very good. And I forget her name...but I started on the second book of the Nappily Ever After series...I'm currently going through Bebe Moore Campbell's books. I loved 72 Hour Hold and also read What You Owe Me and Singing in the Comeback Choir. All really good writers...Not stellar, but very enjoyable was the work of Kayla Perrin. I had never heard of her , but she's quite prolific.

I decided to ratchet things up a bit. So now I'm reading Shay Youngblood's Black Girl in Paris...I met Shay while I was in grad school...she's definitely an Important Black Writer. I've had New England White by Stephen L. Carter for months. It's so damn big! I just start a new book rather than cracking it open. But I will get to it because I really enjoyed The Emperor of Ocean Park.

The best thing about all this. I finally got a library card. I realized right away that I could not afford to buy all the books I was tearing through. So now I'm working two branches for titles.

OK...I need to get to bed....I'll blog about the other topics soon!

It's Up to You...

I was going to get all fancy with it and try to put a fancy poll-a-majicky in here. But I get all flustered...So I'm just gonna keep it simple.

What should I blog about next?

Lauryn Hill...I saw her concert last Monday and have a million thoughts about it.

Making the Band 4...so much foolishness...BoomKat and Diddy! Where would I start first?

facebook...it's like crack. Should I elaborate?

A book a day...seriously! I've been reading all these books I was too busy...and snobby to read when I was in graduate school or teaching.

OK...that's four choices. Let me know what you think I should blog about!

You would not believe...

It is 58 degrees in New York City. Right now. I kid you not.

It's so hard to say goodbye...

I knew this day would come...but I put it off as long as I could. My license plate was due to expire tomorrow. It has a little sticker that shows when your registration expires, you know. Well, usually you get a renewal notice in the mail and you can take care of everything online. But I didn't get a renewal notice.
I waited and waited and waited...until today. This morning I made a very stressful call to the Louisiana Department of Motor Vehicles. I was freaking out a little...you never know when you're going to have a Katrina moment...even two years later. Anyhow...I didn't get a renewal notice because the state of Louisiana decreed that I had an 'insurance lapse' when I insured my car with an out-of-state carrier while I was dislocated. This struck me as ridiculous. Hundreds of thousands of people were dislocated and people had to make whatever temporary arrangements they could. and excuse me for choosing the best quote and having NO clue about this 'law.' Anyway after about 45 minutes of heated exchange with the DMV representative, I threw in the towel. They wanted me to fax in proof of my current insurance and since I am still not insured in Louisiana, I decided my time was better spent doing what I didn't want to do...cutting my last ties to my home state.
I spent half a day in the New York Department of Motor Vehicles, Harlem Office....and I do mean half the day--almost four hours--getting a New York driver's license and plates. Sigh. And just to throw salt in it all, I registered to vote here too. That cut the deepest. Louisiana politics are the best entertainment ever and I'll miss casting my absentee ballot.
So now I'm a New Yorker, I guess. I have to drill holes in my bumper (!) to display my new front plate. It's real bittersweet, y'all...My mother joked (I think she was joking) that this meant I wasn't coming home again.
Maybe though I will not be the victim of vandalism/burglary anymore. My car has been broken into twice and I really think it's because I had out-of-state plates...But I know I'm going to have trouble finding my car now...

Tastes good, feels good...

Brunsli blogged about rum at the Appleton Estates in Jamaica. I thought I'd take up the same topic. I like an occasional cocktail, ahem...So I was intrigued to see that Absolut is launching a special edition in honor of my hometown.

Absolut New Orleans goes on sale August 1st. Go on and get you some, baby. 100% of the profits go to charity, so consider it philanthropy. I will be checking around NYC to see if I can get a bottle...Maybe the Absolut people will see my blog entry and send me some. Probably not.