Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Awaiting Spring

There are so many ways that we hold ourselves back from our greatest possibilities: self-doubt, self- sabotage...We bog ourselves down with the everyday, we surround ourselves with negativity, we create failure. Often we aren't even aware that we are stacking the deck against ourselves.
Rather than radical changes sometimes it is very small adjustments in behavior that can make huge differences in outcomes. This morning I chose to have an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. Even though I had just watched SuperSize Me. Even though I could have had a more healthy option--grits--when I got to campus. Even though I could prepare for morning breakfasts on the weekends. My alarm is now set for five AM. I still get up at around quarter of six though. On the positive side, though the weather took a cooler turn, I have been getting my midday walks in this week. I have been taking care of my skin. I've been taking my vitamin supplement and the two tablespoons of flaxseed oil everyday.
With the eminent rise in gasoline price, I am thinking again of getting a bus pass. Riding while my car was in the shop was hellish. It was time consuming and sometimes uncomfortable. But a bus pass would save me gas money, would guarantee an additional thirty minutes a day of walking, and a chance to enjoy the outdoors. I have revamped my desire to relocate. By month's end, I'd like to have my resume ready to go--finally--and get started on networking.
I'm getting rid of the clutter in my surroundings--I shredded so much stuff that I filled two big garbage bags.
The whole process feels like learning to juggle. I have to keep up what I am doing to improve every single aspect of my life at the same time. I am trying to be in the moment and making decisions that will accumulate into a a positive day. I am being mindful without worrying.

1 comment:

AnnaC said...

I wish I had read this entry this morning... I fought the spector of self-sabotage all day. I am not sure whether I was able to hold the ground or if I lost ground... I did not give in to the temptation to go back to bed. I did not sit down on the couch and read or watch tv. I did play a few games of solitaire.
When I was unable to motivate myself to write essays or do ANY work on the new apps, I studied math. When I got tired of that, I started working on the apps, just the rote stuff. Nothing on the essays, though. And when it was time to turn to the essays and I still didn't want to... I did 55 minutes of yoga and then walked to pick up my car.
So... holding my own here in CA... and wishing you luck on holding yours in LA.