Second Anniversary

Well, I got through it...I completely immersed myself in work and even stayed late to try and make things go faster. I toyed with the idea of staying home, but when I woke up this morning I really wanted to get to work and stay busy. I have been determined to learn how to update our website-- I took a Dreamweaver workshop but never followed up. So today, I spent most of the day inputting new information for our website, reorganizing pages, and generally boosting my confidence. I know that I can learn these things, but on an irrational level I sometimes freeze a little contemplating projects that I'm not comfortable with or have lots of experience.

I was just not up to seeing Bush have his photo opps around New Orleans and Bay St. Louis. Ironically enough, my family is from both New Orleans and Bay St. Louis. I haven't been back to Bay St. Louis yet.

Tomorrow I have a big campus event. I hope it goes smoothly. I have no idea what to expect. Once that's over, I'll be able to exhale a little. But the campus is buzzing...students are coming back to campus and soon the pace will be brisker and there will be more calls and fires to put out.

Everything has changed...

Since the last time I posted, I finally found a full time position. A really good one at Urban Ivy. So I finally have insurance again...I've been going to get check-ups everywhere! In the process, I found out that I have some post traumatic stress symptoms. Well I knew I did...but now I can actually do something about it.

I have been having panic attacks, headaches, insomnia, and really have changed in ways I can't describe. For the past two years, I've felt kind of out of sync and a bit scattered. I can't really put it into words, but I have been holding it all together with spit and Elmer's glue just praying that I'd be able to get myself re-established and on back on the path I am meant to follow. I've had a lot of distractions in the meantime, but I am really proud of myself for getting to this point. It's been awhile since Katrina, I know. But still not a day goes by that I am not reminded of it or affected by it. And that experience kind of churned up all the other difficult experiences I had before.

But I am using all this as an opportunity to understand myself better and to build a stronger future. The thing that bothered me most about Katrina was that despite all my hard work--I have been working since I was 13 years old--overnight I had nothing to show for it. I've moved from state to state and had always made excuses for not buying a house and just like that, I couldn't do any of the things I wanted to do. Watching my parents go through the process of rebuilding theirs made me feel more keenly that I had nothing to call my own. So now that I am working, I've decided one of my first goals is to save for a house of my own. It's going to take a little time. But I am firmly setting my intentions to have enough money for a down payment on a house by Christmas 2008--or sooner! And I am also doing the work of rediscovering myself. Things have been so disorienting. I literally lost track of myself. A lot of times unable to remember what I like and withdrawing from things I like to do. This month I have really challenged myself to reconnect. I have been reading voraciously! I've reconnected with friends. And I have some projects--very modest--in mind that I want to pursue. I am planning to travel--not too far at first! And I am just letting myself re-emerge.

We have no idea what we are capable of until we have the opportunity to face life. I never would have thought that the decisions I made one Saturday night

Fully Employed

Well, I know it's been some time. I am pleased to report that I am now fully employed at Urban Ivy. Previously I had been been in that limbo-land called temp status. I was extremely grateful for the arrangement, however. When I first started, I could hardly handle a full time work schedule or responsibilities.
I have been in my new position since last Tuesday. I am absolutely excited about the new opportunity. There are a host of responsibilities-- some drawing on previous experience and some exciting opportunities to learn and grow. Of course, I am already impatient to know everything that's going on in my new office, but I am giving myself 60 days to get up to speed. There is a whole round of training/orientation sessions I must attend, and I am also doing some refreshers just to sharpen my skills. By the end of summer and the arrival of students, I expect to be running quite smoothly.
Tomorrow morning is my first orientation session. I'll be get a new hire overview and the opportunity to sign up for my employee benefits. I get all choked up just thinking about having health insurance again. I can breathe again. And I'm so excited about reactivating my IRA contributions, I can't even tell you. So I'll keep you posted. But, so far, so good!