Monday, June 06, 2005


The cliche goes...patience is a virtue. That and other crap I have gullibly believed. Long I thought patience fell down upon us like grace, like sweet little raindrops. That, in fact, may be the case for others. For me, patience is a tortuous ordeal. I thought it was some charactersitic, like height and weight. I felt inadequate because like diabetics and insulin, I apparently lacked an adequate supply. I fake patience. I sit with my hands folded nicely, but inside I scream like a willful two-year old. NOW! I want what I want right now. I want to know the answers. I want dessert. I want to ride up front. I want to go first. I want to go again. I want to open the box. I want my cookie. I want, I want, I want. At least that's not broken. For a long time I couldn't muster a want for anything. Now I want...not specifically, just diffuse. But soon, I hope, I'll gain control of my powers and focus with laser precision on something or other.
I wonder how many other people pretend to be patient. Maybe it's fake it until you make it. I am tired on sitting on my hands. I want to just scream! Gimme! Tell me! Let me! Show me! ME! ME! ME!

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