When I got home, HBO was replaying "When the Levees Broke..." and I watched it.
It's the craziest thing that triggers the sadness. Looking too long at a photo, realizing that something I'm trying to find isn't around anymore, wanting some stewed okra but realizing there is nowhere to buy decent fresh shrimp...
These past two days, my body has been letting me know the anniversary is coming. My throat closes, my hands are all shaky, and the stuttering is back. I hate that. Because I can't disguise it. And I have no intention of explaining it to everybody. I dread answering the phone at work. But I'm glad too. I'm doing pretty good considering. Like Frankie Beverly says...
"Joy and pain is like sunshine and rain...
Over and over you can be sure
there will be sorrow but you can endure
Where there's a flower, there's the sun and the rain...
Oh and it's wonderful...They're both one in the same"
I guess I figured I would get over or past everything, but I think you just learn to live with it. As far away as I have moved, there has not been a day...720 come next Wednesday...that I do not hear the word Katrina. I know most people don't hear it at all anymore. But I hear it everyday. And that's OK...
For the next week, my posts might be kind of scattered...but I'm alright. Just have to talk about it sometimes.
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2 comments:
Good Post! I'm glad you are open to awareness of your own body and feelings! Good mental health to you.
I am really glad you posted this. I had a horrible time this week so I think I know a little about what you're feeling. I couldn't think straight or get my classes together and I couldn't do anything this weekend. Hang in there and spend time with others who understand and love you.
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