So I don't know what I thought life would be like at this point...but this isn't quite it. When I was a kid, I guess I took for granted that by now I'd be what or who ever I was supposed to be. Life would be figured out. But it's not. In fact, I feel like I'm working harder now than I have in a long time to stay true to who I am and figure out how to get wherever it is I'm supposed to be.
But maybe that's just how it is. Who's to say? The thing is...you never know what life will be until you live it.
I'm not sure what it is I should be doing at any given moment. Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong. Maybe I'm not getting anything right. The only thing that seems clear is that nothing about life is really certain after all.
And it's not just me...It seems that everything and everyone is a little chaotic. Maybe in my youthful haze I never noticed that before. It just seemed that grown-ups had things figured out. But maybe they never did. Maybe things always seemed like they were hurtling toward disaster...possibly.
When I was younger, if I felt even the slightest twinge of anxiety about anything, I changed everything. Maybe I should try that...