Monday, May 24, 2010

Constant Reinvention

So I don't know what I thought life would be like at this point...but this isn't quite it. When I was a kid, I guess I took for granted that by now I'd be what or who ever I was supposed to be. Life would be figured out. But it's not. In fact, I feel like I'm working harder now than I have in a long time to stay true to who I am and figure out how to get wherever it is I'm supposed to be.

But maybe that's just how it is. Who's to say? The thing is...you never know what life will be until you live it.

I'm not sure what it is I should be doing at any given moment. Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong. Maybe I'm not getting anything right. The only thing that seems clear is that nothing about life is really certain after all.

And it's not just me...It seems that everything and everyone is a little chaotic. Maybe in my youthful haze I never noticed that before. It just seemed that grown-ups had things figured out. But maybe they never did. Maybe things always seemed like they were hurtling toward disaster...possibly.

When I was younger, if I felt even the slightest twinge of anxiety about anything, I changed everything. Maybe I should try that...

5 comments:

scruffdiva said...

it may be cliche but all you really have to do is focus on the present moment and go from there. trying to improve it or make it more comfortable or learn from it. but if you go any further, sometimes chaos is a given!

erdiani.erwandi said...

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Francisco Carrasco said...

Somos aquilo que poderĂ­amos ter sido.

Forever Christmas 1904 said...

I clicked on Next Blog and came across this, your post. It is so odd, sometimes, you come across something that you can totally relate to....I'm feeling the exact same way you described. Maybe your one commentor is right...we only have right now, so let's take it as we go and are given!