Monday, May 09, 2005

Wrung out

I have no clue why it's so difficult for me to keep my postings up at a regular pace. I apologize. This is no way to run a railroad.
In general, I am just feeling more reflective and less expressive. I am three weeks away from being professionally unfettered, that's making me feel a little jittery. I am trying to maintain my exercise schedule, with mixed results. I am generally trying to organize my thoughts and figure of a plan for living that I can abide with for awhile.
So the blogging has gone wayward.
It's bit gross, but yesterday a cut a huge gash in the back of my foot. I was trying to drain a blister, but I went too deep and before I knew it I had gone too far. There's no blood, but I'm afraid to wear a closed shoe and worried about dirt getting into the open cut. As soon as I did it, I wondered if I were sabotaging myself. I mean there was no good reason for me too cut across the blister like I did. Maybe I was trying to derail my walking schedule subconsciously. I wonder how often I sabotage myself and in what kind of ways.
I am also having those comatose sleeps I made famous in high school. This time sans doughnuts. Today I was absolutely out of commission for almost two hours. I don't know if this is simply fatigue but it has been cutting into the productivity of my weekends. I burn a lot of daylight with these naps. I have to remember to ask about them when I go to the doctor well as the leg numbness. Tuesday may be my last rip to the doctor for a while. I'll be out of insurance while I search for my new thing.
Since it was Mother's Day my grandmother came over for the afternoon. We had a very pleasant meal.
So now it's 11PM and since I slept this afternoon, I'm still awake. I'm going to give it a shot though. I need to get up early.

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