Health kicked

Since I bought my car in 1999, I've gained twenty pounds. I'm not saying there's a causal relationship; but I exercise less since I've gotten a car. It is also true that since I've gotten a car, I've also worked at a sedentary positions. So I don't get a lot of exercise at work and I don't get much after work.
A friend who's a personal trainer suggests that if I would walk strenuously for one hour per day, I could lose the weight in several weeks time. I got this advice in October. Since then, I have struggled to find a time in my day that I could commit to the hour constitutional.

I tried after work...Well, as soon as fall fell and daylight savings time was over that fell apart. I get home, change clothes, decompress...I'm ready to start walking at 7PM. But now it's dark. At first I ignored my mother's warnings, but there were, in fact, a couple of times I felt unsafe. So that ended the evening walk. Maybe it'll be different when daylight savings time comes back.

I tried during lunch. For many months, I walked at least forty minutes at lunchtime. But I'm sure the meal I consumed made up for the effort. And I was wolfing down my lunch...If it takes twenty minutes to get seated and twenty mintues to walk back, that leaves twenty minutes to order, eat and pay the check. So I started going to places closer to campus, which meant a shorter walk, and less calories burned.

I tried indoor exercise. Too much furniture, not enough personal space. We have too many couches and cats under foot to make this work.

So that leaves the glaring option of early morning. My alarm clock has been set for 5:45 since spring 2004. I have not yet been able to actually get out of bed until 6:30. I think this is psychological issues with other things, but the result is that I do not get out of bed and walk for an hour. I have left my exercise clothes out. I have gone to sleep earlier. Nothing has countered this near paralytic sensation I get every weekday morning that I come to consciousness and contemplate having to go to work. Exercise has become a casualty.

While I grapple with the issue of exercise, knowing intellectually that the morning walk is the clear solution and even having experienced the good post-exercise feeling, I have turned my attention to my diet.

This morning I bought a fruit bowl at Wendy's. For a ridiculously steep price, I got a spread of fresh fruit with a dip cup of flavored, sweetened yogurt. That would have been a wonderful, healthy shot...except the fruit bowl is chaser for the stack of pancakes I had first. I have become a flavor junkie. When I am anxious, I need to taste something and that has led to poor nutrition and overeating. A parallel problem is that even though I enjoy healthy food, I am not stocking it at home. So when I get these bouts, I am eating what my parents have which is not necessarily healthy.

My point? I don't know. I ramble. I do know I need to get a grip on my eating and my exercise. Riding the bus this week has been enlightening. My biggest issue has been how time-ineffective it has been. For example, it would take me two hours each way to commute to work. That is unacceptable. Wasted time in my opinion. Because you can't multi-task. Monday evening I was lucky to wrangle a seat at all and for the entire ride a very pretty, but ripe-smelling young lady has lodged herself so closely against me that I could hardly think straight much less read. Yesterday, I did manage to read part of an article but I was constantly distracted by people yelling into their cellphones and some young man who tapped me on the shoulder to compliment me on my hair--whatever.

So I'm flabby and frustrated. I saw a woman on television who is my height and weight. I also used my videocamera to take an objective look at myself. I am not as fat as I feel. I am below my healthy BMI and understand that the weight I consider ideal other people think is 'skinny' for me. What is the case is that I even if my weight is not a health issue, I am not as fit as I could or want to be. And explanations be damned, I have to do something about that.