Monday, December 19, 2005

Trying to come back

So today is not so hot. Mama's snippy with me because I didn't want to take her and Gram shopping. Thing is...I haven't checked my voicemails or returned phone calls since before Thanksgiving and I promised myself I would do that today...and I still dread the idea of going out. I only have a few days to summon up enough stamina to get out of here for a few hours. I need to get gifts for Gram and Mama. It would have been nice to be able to send a gift to Daddy, but that's not going to happen. I don't have an address for him.
I'm pretty worried about the dread thing. I was feeling it before all this happened, but now I feel it physically. iwas thinking maybe I should start with a part-time job or something. I just feel nauseous about leaving the house. I posted yesterday--but I don't think it made it up--I'm trying to sort through all these feelings and get some solid ground beneath my feet. I don't know if I should give myself a deadline to deal or just ride through this.
Once again I'm thinking of taking that Sisterlocks class. There's one in Philly in February...but I'd actually have to leave the house to make a go of it. A small enterprise for myself might be good though. I could feel a sense of accomplishment again.


AnnaC said...

I know it's hard to motivate... but try to keep writing. Even if you only publish as drafts... I find it helps me to start unjumbling the emotions that sometimes paralyze me.

Creyole's Sisterlock Exodus said...

Hello Renea,
I did a search on Sisterlocks and found your blog was hoping for pics but I enjoyed the posts. I too have sisterlocks and just took the retightening class. Go for it and take that class..self employment sounds good to me and you are in the perfect area.

Praying you and your family find peace!