Monday, February 27, 2006

How I know this is not the best day ever...

1) I got hung up on by two Verizon techs this morning. My DSL line is malfunctioning AGAIN and two techs disconnected me in the middle of my fruitless calls for help. The first made me disconnect all the phones in the house and then disconnected me. The second disconnected me when I balked about switching the phone cord on my modem. The third tech made me switch the location of my DSL modem. Which means, though I tried to avoid it, my modem is now in my bedroom. I am surfing and laying. Why should I ever get dressed? I purposefully put the TV and modem outside of my room so I wouldn't be tempted to mope and malinger...

2) Both my elbows ache like crazy. I have some weird patch on my scalp that matches the one on my arm. And I feel like the guy with the bag of rocks hit me again....ugh.

3) My mother is on a tear. She brought home the wrong food and decided I was attacking her when I suggested she return it. That drove me to bed.

4) When she came in, I was downstairs finishing up breakfast for Gram. I'm probably tired because we've been taking care of her. Last week was not good for her. She fell a couple of times and I think it made her depressed as well as sore. So all week we've taken turns getting her breakfast as usual. But also getting her out of bed. If she can be coaxed, I was also making sure she got into the shower. While I do that, Mom changes her bed linens and gets everything down to the washing machine. It takes at least 90 minutes just to get her to the bathroom and get dressed. Then it's time to prepare her meal and I feel absolutely exhausted before the day even gets started. Then at night, my ears are trained like a German Shepherd puppy.

Last night, Gram woke up around 10:30 convinced she heard my mother calling her. That was early...sometimes she'll get up at 2 or 4 AM. So if I'm alone I don't feel like I can really fall asleep. I told Mom I'm going to put a baby monitor in her room so I can be sure that I'll hear her and maybe be able to relax. This is why I felt like I need to shelve the whole job search thing. Mom is too small (though she doesn't know it) and tired herself to do everything for Gram. The first time Gram fell, she tried to get her up alone and ended up laid out herself. I called around to find out about hiring a nurse to come in a couple days a week. The bottom line is that she just can't afford it. As I mentioned, Gram has been denied an SBA loan for the house and she received a couple hundred dollars to repair her roof. So I'm doing all I can to preserve her money. Whenever Mom and Dad are able to reunite and figure out a housing plan, Gram is going to need money for possible renovations to a structure they move into or build. Or if they determine she would be better suited in an assisted living situation, she'll need enough cash for that. The cost of the nurse would require me to cut into her reserve and I just don't think it's a good idea.
I have very few expenses now. Even though it'll be interesting to explain to my future employer, it makes more emotional and financial sense for me to help out right now.

So this morning I woke up tired. After Gram got out of bed, I helped her to the bathroom and back to bed before I turned in myself. When i woke this morning, I found out my DSL connection was down. That I had to get Gram up alone. And then Mom came back and threw a tantrum. So I'm back in bed...and not even the second episode of Maury---you guessed it "Paternity Secrets Revealed"--is helping...

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