Friday, July 06, 2007

Summertime...




















I guess I've been lurking long enough. While I visit and comment on my favorite blogs, I haven't been motivated to write a new post. It's just that so much is going on, I would hardly know where to begin. I don't even know if anyone is reading anymore, but that's OK. I just wanted to say hi.

I was inspired by Brunsli and BygBaby's photographic acumen. I clumsily adjusted my aperture settings to see if I could get some of those sharp 'depth of field' shots they've been talking about! I managed to take some where the foreground is sharper and some where the background is sharper, but I don't remember aperture settings I used for each...lol. So I'll have to keep at it. The picture of me I took last week. I have this weird thing about off center photos...I guess I think it's artistic. But this is one of the few that I could stand. I always think I look a bit distorted. Though I could just be in denial about how I look--maybe it's not the camera that's fish-eyed...lol. I put some older pics in too and if anybody reads this, give me some feedback on how to adjust my settings. You'll see though that depending on whether I take the picture or someone else, I literally look like a different person. I should try to get on at the NSA...lol.

I guess the best thing that has happened is that I got a new job at UrbanIvy. I'd been working there since last October in a temporary position and two months ago, I got a great new permanent position. I'm really excited about it, I'm finally getting some budget management experience--which I felt was a weak spot for me--in a completely supported environment. There are all kinds of training opportunities and oversight, so I am not anxious that I'll make a mistake and all heck will break loose...lol. I started right at the end of the semester which has been a mixed blessing. It's been quiet enough for me to settle in and poke around at my own pace, literally all the faculty I work with seem to be out of the country and all the students are gone as well. But it also means that I won't really get a sense of the position's demands until next month or so.

But the new job means I finally have some insurance. Take that, Michael Moore! Well, it turns out all my weirdness is because I have post-traumatic stress symptoms. Yes, Katrina is still part of my life! I have been having panic attacks, insomnia, and general squirreliness--more quirrelly than is normal for me . But because I have benefits, I am able to address it and get things on a better course. Thank goodness for Ambien! Comparing the pictures I took with Gram to these new ones, I can see how tired and stressed I was getting. Huge bags under my eyes! And I felt like I had aged twenty years in the past two! But a few weeks of sleep has helped my skin clear, lessened the bags, and drastically improved how I feel. I'm still easily rattled, but I am doing sooo much better! So the flower picture seems appropriate because I feel like I'm reawakening.
I am on my own for the first time in almost five years. Hard to believe...but this is the first time I have been alone since I moved back to New Orleans. Not completely of course, Robi is here!

I am going to start travelling again--short trips, I'm on a budget! Last week I went to Connecticut and I'm going to Maryland soon. But my first priority is to get my finances on track and start saving for a down-payment on a house. Living in NYC is so expensive, my obligations seem to have expanded to fit my income! I had to start paying back Fannie Mae and SBA ( and don't forget BofA, curse those credit cards!)--chunks of cash that I think would be much better utilized to stabilize my 'situation.' But there is still no relief for those affected by Katrina. My mother, if you remember, was certain that the SBA loans would be forgiven. Maybe they will be in time--it is nearly election time, maybe someone will throw us a break-- but for the foreseeable future, I have to pay against that principal every month! Sigh.

As for my hair, I darkened it and I have the urge to cut it! It's so hot and it brushes across my back and flops in my face. I have become so lazy about styling my hair. I should be arrested by the style police. In the pics that I took in January, I had done some twists that were interesting. But since then, I have gotten way too comfortable with all things ponytail. The one with my hair flopped in my face is a pretty fair representation of how I look every day. I really can do better!
OK. That's it. Until next time!


3 comments:

brunsli said...

Hey! It's great to see you again.

I'm sorry I've been so self-absorbed in graduation & bar study to check on you, but I am THRILLED your job is working out well and that you have the time to ease into it!

I left a comment for you on my blog re the camera -- try using your self-times so you can back up. You look great though, so I don't know why you're so worried. :)

As far as vaca, you always have a free place to crash in LA. :)

B

PS, those of us with bloglines always read your blog :)

Quietspirit said...

Glad to see your back. It's good to read things are coming together for you. My heart went out to you when I first read your blog a while ago. I don't comment much but felt compelled this time to leave you a word. I wish you all the best.

Dstdiva said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I just really sat down and read some of your experiences...I am glad you have gotten some much needed sleep. I can't imagine all you are going through or have gone through, but I just want you to know, from one sisterlocker to another, hang in there and keep taking it one day at a time!